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Shattered Trust: The Hidden Pain of Parental Defilement

When a baby is born in Africa, he/she is met with ululation, joy and celebration. The new mother is pampered and nursed back to health to nurse her new baby. The father is patted on the back and given a seat in the council of ‘respected men’.

The first people the child interacts with are his/her parents. The child learns from their parents that they are protected. They learn to depend on their parents for their basic survival including protection. Children grow up learning to fully and completely trust their parents and when this trust is broken, it shatters a child. Defiles their innocence.

Stacy and Tracey are sisters born 1 year apart to their parents Mr. and Mrs. Masumbuko in Esidende village in Busia County Nambale sub-county.  When Stacy and Tracey were 4 and 5 years old respectfully, their mother packed up her bags and left her matrimonial home. At the time, no-one would make head or tail of why she left. For the next four years, Stacey and Tracey were raised by their father and everyone extoled the father for taking up such a noble role of raising his daughters single handedly.

However, one day while Stacey and Tracey were out playing with other children, a woman nearby heard Stacey tell a small boy they were playing with to remove his clothes and do to her what their father does to them. Wasting no time, the woman called the two sisters aside and asked them what it that their father did to them was. The girls refused to speak and the woman carried them all the way to REEP offices.

At the office she reported to the psychosocial counsellor what she heard the girls say during playtime. After a session with the two girls, they revealed that their father had been sexually abusing them since before their mother left. The girls were rushed to Nambale sub-county hospital where it was confirmed that they had been defiled over a long period of time. The children were then taken to the police station where they recorded statements and their father was arrested. Since there is no safe house in Busia, the girls were forced to live with the REEP Director’s home for a period. While there, Ms. Makokha ensured that the girls were fully treated and healed.

 

“Like stars are to the sky, so are the children to our world. They deserve to shine!” —Chinonye J. Chidolue

However, Tracey the younger child developed a limp in her gait due to the effects of the defilement. After that, REEP sort out their mother. However, through her relatives, she communicated that she no longer considers herself as a mother to the girls since they were cursed. She revealed that the reason she walked out of her marital home was because she found her husband defiling their daughters and decided that that she can no longer be part of such.  Asked why she did not report the incidence then, the woman said that she feared her husband would have killed her.

REEP therefore sort out another distant relative of the girls (second cousin to their father) who agreed to live with the girls as long as REEP supported them. REEP agreed to these terms and continued to support Stacey and Tracey access basic needs. The girls were enrolled back to school and REEP took care of their medical bills.  All their other relatives completely refused to accommodate them branding them cursed thus bad omen. Their father was arraigned in court and was handed a mere 7-year prison sentence for defiling both girls. A slap on the wrist.

After living with the girls for 3 years, the uncle who had taken them in brought the girls back to REEP offices stating that due to the high cost of living, he could no longer maintain the girls in his household. He also stated that that since their father was almost being released from prison, he was afraid that their father would hurt him. Once again, the girls went back to live in Ms. Makokha’s home.

With no safe shelter/house in Busia, REEP had to quickly find a second home for the girls. With the help of friends, REEP managed to secure 2 slots of admission for them at shelter in Nairobi where they currently live and are being educated.

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